Is the election season still looming around you? Weeks after the United States election for the next president has passed, there’s a new paw elected for (*drumroll*) being too cute, and no, we aren’t joking around. Columbia has elected one of its first-ever cutest dogs this 2024, and it’s no other than Chester.
Now, who is Chester? He’s a 2.5-year-old brown dog who won and bears the title of “The State’s Cutest Dog in Columbia” after winning its poll in a multi-day processing vote. He was one of the 20 dogs who competed. While Columbia residents were allowed to submit their dogs, only the subscribers of The State will be able to vote during the polls.
In the last poll finals, here are the dogs who made it to the final four:
- Chester, with 41% of the votes
- Biscuit, an Alaskan malamute, an English Dog, and a Schnauzer mix came in second with 29%
- Sparkles Barkley, a German Shepherd, came in third place with 20%
- Alfie, a Rat Terrier, came in fourth place with 10%
David Miller from Columbia and Chester’s owner shared that Chester was actually a rescue pup. He got Chester, together with his Sister Lila, from a couple who found them with six dogs at the side of the road. The couple took the dogs in and put them up for adoption.
Miller also shared that Chester was a joy to be around as he is affectionate and a bit of a rascal. He loves spending his days playing with his squeaky toys, and he loves going outside for his daily morning walks. He even dances uncontrollably due to excitement. Now that Chester is Columbia’s Cutest Dog, Miller plans to reward him with even more squeaky toys. His tail will wag furiously as he’s desperate to remove the squeaker from the toy.
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Chester’s Acceptance Speech
In Miller’s response to Chester’s win, he provided an acceptance speech to receive his award and let the people and their dogs know that Chester had recognized his win. Here are a few points on the entirety of his speech. Do note that Miller only created this for fun, so it doesn’t entail any grant or actual authority from under city or state law, just to be clear. 🤣
First up in his speech, Chester thanked his supporters who voted for him and the “discriminating readers” or the voters of The State who helped elected him to become the Cutest Dog in Columbia. Chester also thanked his family —his adoptive parents and Sister Lila, who helped him to be the cutest dog he could be.
Chester declared that he had set his goals for his term in the office. He called for an immediate end to the sales tax on dog food and toys. He also plans to issue an executive order that requires Animal Control Officers to round up all unlicensed cats and dogs and ship them to mainland China. He also declared National Pet Your Dog Day to be observed every November 14 and all other days.
With that, Chester also required all Veterinarian Offices, Pet Spas, and Pet Stores to display the Canine Ten Commandments. Below are the actual commandments as stated by Chester in his acceptance speech.
- Thou shalt have no other dog before me
- Thou shalt covet my sister
- Honor thy human
- Thou shalt not bark in vain
- Thou shalt not do thy business in the house
- Thou shalt not howl, except it be to harmonize with fire engines
- Thou shalt not chew books
- Thou shalt not forget that Mama’s shoes are sacred
- Thou shalt not chase the squirrel, neither shalt thou savage the bunny, nor pursue the deer
- Thou shalt not covet thy sister’s squeaky toy
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From The Club
After the whirlwind of emotions from the recent US elections, it’s nice for The State to give us a good laugh by electing a cute dog in office. Chester’s owner really played along with it by creating Chester’s acceptance speech and starting drafting laws (even commandments) for every dog and their humans to follow. Oh well, it’s our dog’s world, and we’re just living in it. 🤣
