Imagine having a good day, and then you suddenly remember your departed pet. Even when it happened a long time ago, there is this unexplainable pang in your heart. Do you remember how you felt the first time you learned that your dog died? This is a common feeling. In fact, 70% of U.S. households own a pet, according to a 2021-2022 National Pet Owners Survey from the American Pet Products Association (APPA). This means that many pet owners across the country and even the world mourn pet loss.
Unfortunately, not all people regard pet loss as serious as losing a family member or a human being. However, it’s a part of sensitivity that we need to develop within us. With that, offering condolences and support to someone who’s just lost a pet helps them to heal.
There are a lot of ways to help someone heal and, at the same time, honor the memory of their pet. Here are some tips to help your loved one navigate the path to healing and support them throughout their journey.
What to Say to a Grieving Pet Owner
Many people aren’t good with words, especially when they’re talking to someone emotional. You don’t actually need to talk to them about their emotional state. Your presence and lending ear is enough to keep them comforted. It’s a part of acknowledging the pain that they are feeling. In fact, according to Dr. Marie-Charlotte Popp of Kirkwood Animal Hospital, there is nothing you can say that will ease their pain. Dr. Popp also stressed that knowing what not to say is just as important. We may hear others say, “It’s just an animal” or “No big deal,” which invalidates their feelings.
The Ruckersville Animal Hospital also said to keep in mind that everyone goes through loss in their own unique way. With or without experience, you may grieve differently the way that your friend grieves. You should resist the urge to tell your experience about what you did during those days that you were grieving. Avoid saying things like this are familiar feelings to you, and then mourn your dog while your friend is mourning theirs. It gives off the impression that you are downplaying the significance of their emotions.
Also, avoid making jokes, as it isn’t going to light up the mood. Let the affected person lead the conversation, and don’t ever change the subject.
You can also choose to write them a card if you’re not really good with words. The person who receives it will appreciate it as they will know that you are thinking about them and that you are one with honoring the memory of their pet. Take time to compose your letters; even a brief note that tells you that you’re available is enough.
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More Ways to Help With Grief
Grief is a normal response to someone’s loss. While they’re unique to each one of us, the intensity actually relies on the attachment over the loss, and in the pet owner’s case, it’s their pets. Here are simple ways to help them, according to Jon Patrick Hatcher, author of “Anxiety Hacks for an Uncertain World.”:
- Encourage them to reminisce through sharing photos or writing.
- Remind them to take care of themselves physically and mentally.
- Try to gather information about pet loss support groups, counseling services, or online communities where your loved one can connect with others.
But remember, you can only do so much. You also have to protect yourself physically and mentally, meaning you help others in the healthiest way possible without compromising your own.
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From The Club
This reminds me of my state when I lost my childhood dog, Calix, last November 2024. I’m glad that I found a great support system with my friends where I can freely share stories and photos to honor his loss. As someone who went through and is still currently going through grief, I appreciate the messages and reminders that I received from loved ones. But I must go on with life, knowing how to stand up on my own. Besides, I know Calix is happy in a good place somewhere. ❤️